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Coaching

Truth, Value, Responsivity
Update your reality strategy, level up and loosen the grip of the past

Effective action comes from good, useful self-awareness.”
Mario Sikora

My coaching approach is called the Takdīr 5D® approach.

This model appreciates that our habitual reality strategies have been highly adaptive and effective to our life circumstances, and that change should never involve judgement or criticism, but rather support and resource clients with what they need to more consistently express who they are at their best. The model is based on analytical psychology, self-efficacy psychology, cognitive science, and practical wisdom from a number of the world’s traditions. 

The first phase involves defining the Delta, or the desired state. This is defined both in terms of external goals but also in terms of an inner state of being that the client has probably briefly experienced in the past, when most resourced and at their best. What would it be like to experience more of that, more of the time, and what would it feel like to attain those goals? This, broadly, sets the coaching agenda.

The second phase is Discovery – what are one’s maps of reality, cognitive biases, and habitual reality strategies? Here we explore the obstacles, inner dynamics, cognitive biases, limiting self-beliefs and relational habits that may unconsciously be sabotaging or derailing the achievement of the desired states and outcomes. Here we use the Enneagram of personality as an in-depth psychological model that gets at our hidden motivations and unconscious cognitive distortions.

The third phase is exploring the Dynamic pathways to greater self-efficacy, personal agency, self-reconnection and greater aliveness. What possibilities exist for growth? Where are the priority areas, and where are the easy wins to build confidence? Where can ones “thoughtware” be quickly upgraded or debugged? Which important relationships are in need of repair, tending, strengthening, or deepening, and what potential pitfalls and blind spots are getting in the way of doing so? What aspects of your action style, leadership approach, and ways of taking charge could become more generative and more responsive to the demands of your responsibilities, impact, role and context?

The 4th phase is micro-experimentation with new ways of doing things, in order to discover new Dimensions of possibility beyond one’s current experience.

Part of the coaching approach, however, is starting these micro-experiments immediately – sometimes in the session itself – with practices and practical exercises.  These experiments with new ways of tackling problems and situations are designed to be “micro” so that they are safe-to-fail, acceptable to the inner critic, and yield useful information (very immediate and empowering feedback loops from reality as it is) – so that we can adjust fast and improve our adaptability and our relationship with complexity and with the unknown.

The underlying relationship is the foundation for the success of the journey. This I refer to as “Depth of Presence”. It is a space of trust, calm and clarity that allows the best thinking to emerge and enhances the connection with a deeper wisdom.

I also offer Supervision for Enneagram coaches, which involves assisting coaches and facilitators to effectively manage countertransference and their own blind spots in the coaching relationship, so as to best support the client’s growth. 

……misalignment between our ingrained habits [our conditioned ego strategy] and our yearning to live authentically and spontaneously becomes a source for all kinds of suffering, dissatisfaction, and unhappiness. The early coping strategies we don’t need anymore become unseen prisons that constrain how we think, feel, and act in ways that feel so familiar and integral that we forget we have the capacity to choose other options.” – Bea Chestnut, Understanding the Enneagram.

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